I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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