What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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