we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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