we're chasing vodka with high fives
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
