just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
