Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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