More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
