i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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