I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
