Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
