K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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