His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
