You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when Iβm eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize