You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
