Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
