you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
