yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
