the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
