I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I could fuck to npr.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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