Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Enjoy the penises
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
