Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
