You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
