I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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