You're my little dorito
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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