So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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