it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Drunk is not a location!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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