so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
