I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
