someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
