woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
