You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin