i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.