Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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