Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
