I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
