I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
How naked do you want me to be?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
