Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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