I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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