he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
