where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
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just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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