i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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