butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
