If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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