i would punch a child for taco bell
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize