Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
