He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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