I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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