should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
