I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
