so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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