I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
