Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
