i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
