i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
