Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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