HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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