So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
