Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
