we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
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is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
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I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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