what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
