We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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