this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
