We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I don't deserve a penis
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize