He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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