is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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