I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
I am one with the molecules