Who wears a wallet chain?!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Dating After Heartbreak
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok