So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
